Punchlines for Photons

Preparing for a Science Cafe talk, I solicited punchlines for the scenario of two photons walking into a bar. Thanks to the bold folks who accepted the challenge and sent me their zingers.

Two photons walk into a bar...

One says to the other, "Don't make any waves, we're just here to get a drink."

-Samuel S Wakim

The other photon says, "Stand over on the other side of the bar, I don't want you canceling out my magnetic personality. I'm here to couple."

-Samuel S Wakim

We'll never know what happens, the power went out.

-Tom Mitchell

They ask the bartender how much they owe and he says for you two it's "No Charge"

-Barbee DeGain

But we have no idea how long they were they since their energy was well known.

-Micha Kilburn

Bartender asks, "Would you like a to-go cup?"

"No, thanks, we're traveling light."

-Anonymous

To the transparent bartender they reply, "We're just passing through."

-Anonymous

One waves.

-Eric Bueter

Bartender asks, "What's the matter?

-Eric Bueter

Bartender asks, "What's with him?"

"Nothing, he doesn't have much energy."

-Eric Bueter

Preacher inside asks, "Do you see the light?"

-Eric Bueter

What do you call two photons of our friends?

Bud Lights

-Eric Bueter

"Got a light?"

"No, I don't smoke."

-Eric Bueter

Why do photons like carpentry?

They get energized by Plancks.

-Eric Bueter

Two photons walk into a bar .....What did one photon say to the other photon....... Look at the headlights on that one, "yes pretty dim aren't they", not the bar tender you dim wit, the other one. O, I can't see very well in here it is so de-lighting, better contact our swinging group, the smart bulbs! What the hell are you talking about, smart bulbs? They are called the Big Bulbs the female in-impersonators. With your eye-sightless, guess we better call an electron to install some new bulbs these are going dimmer by the Milli-watt. Who is Milli-Watt, the sister of that guy called Watt, Watt who, the brother out-of-sight, Hertz, does it really Hertz, only when I oscillate faster than 60 cycles. Who has a cycle, Bicycle the brother of Cycle.

-David Tozer